Its the best of both world

I usually walk with quick pace and colleagues often asked me not to walk so fast because an hour of dinner is definitely sufficient. These few days, i realised i have started to change my pace of walking, from a fast and quick pace one to a very long slow stroll everytime i walk to the bustop and from the interchange to TPJ. Perhaps i have never been rushing but i just wanted to get things done quicker since my life is pretty hectic at work during weekdays. Things have changed and they ALWAYS change for a reason or reasons that is hard to define. You know the cliche phrase forever whereby Change is the only constant? The longer and slower step that i took indicated a change maybe because the heart is troubled.

In case you are wondering: yes, i am not exactly feeling very-well. How do i put it in words? Some called it heart-pain or literally, Xin Tong in chinese.

I dont know what is happening, i am at many a times, lost for words and lost in the world of my own. No longer do i see the need to walk faster to get to work, no longer do i have the motivation to start work earlier hoping that i can end off earlier, no longer can i chirp and sing and joke. I am anything, but a sad girl with a sorrowful soul.

I did have some encouragement from really good pal(s) and colleagues where in times like this, showered me with so much concern. They are probably kay-po (ha), i dont know but in any case, i truly appreciate their presence. Jason suggested using hard boil eggs to roll over my puffy eyes, wilson decided to treat me to HOT oven roasted subway with honey oats and annie pushed back her urgent matters to reply and listened to me. No, nothing too personal was disclosed, they just knew i wasnt in the mood. In fact, 'a half day' was constantly floating through my mind but i also have to constantly remind myself that a strong girl has got to build on her strong mind with independence.

Didn't know these things in life can hurt and upset me so much, i wonder why. Its not easy, really. Dont know if things will churn out to be for the better but i optimistically hope so.

That said. Have i ever touch on the topic of sexual harassment at work? I often wonder how things will become and how it will actually affect your work in the organization or in the closely knitted industry per se IF you one day decide to blow up your male boss's scheming acts and uncomfortable advances, or at least IF they tried to. No, dont get me wrong, the work place is still clean. I am just wondering...

Tomorrow, i am going to run my lungs out, hopefully can wake up early enough to catch wai han's bodybalance. Seriously need some meditation or sort to peace my confused blood vessels, brain cells and heart from pumping too hard.

I suppose things do change and ALWAYS change for a reason. You can either do something or nothing about it. Hmmn, why do i keep harping about this?

Time to go into deep thoughts folks. I am A-OKAY. Its going to be a good tuesday. Run, run, run my dear.....