Another wasted Sunday
There are so many things I feel I must accomplish every weekend that I end up feeling frustrated and doing nothing in the end
I'M writing this blog at noon on a Sunday.
As usual, the hours are flying past, the weekend is going to be over soon, yet I'm still in my spec and in a quandary over how I'm going to make the best of the day.
I'm really frustrated.
On normal days - that is, weekdays - I'm a fairly organised person. In fact, some might call me task-oriented.
I know exactly what I have to accomplish and I divide my time accordingly.
I love making to-do lists, and enjoy slicing up the hours of a day so that I can allot an activity to each segment. No angst involved. I don't waste time.
On weekends, I fall apart.
There are just so many leisure activities I feel I must catch up on that I end up in a jittery state of limbo, pacing up and down trying to decide on which one to do in a race against time - and succeeding in doing nothing.
And, when I embark on anything, I always wonder if I would have been better off doing something else.
Last weekend was another exercise in futility.
First off, I knew I had to catch up on sleep. How I long for one of those warm afternoon naps during which I fall into such deep slumber it feels as if I were drowning.
But if I wanted to sleep, it would be hard to squeeze time to watch a movie.
And if I did catch a movie, or two, what about the mountain of magazines that has been accumulating by my bed for months, a baleful reminder of my weekend sloth?
(Let's not even talk about books. I've not finished a book since, oh, I shudder to think when.)
But if I were to read, where would I find time to watch TV?
And if my time was spent in front of the small screen, am I being fair to my hamster, in need of some of my time and attention?
And what about the friends I've been neglecting?
Or maybe I should play the dutiful daughter and go back home to visit my mum?
But, no, perhaps I should try the new shops in town.
Then again, should I check out the many sales to bag some bargains? Or catch a performance at the Esplanade?
Go to HMV to stock up on new CDs? Surf the Internet? Go suntec? A hair cut? A shopping trip? Reboot my computer?
And surely this must be the weekend I start exercising again?
But if I were to go swimming in the morning, it would mean getting up early, and did I want to sacrifice my sleep?
And if I were to go for a run in the evening, did I want to miss the Sunday movies on TV?
So here's what I did this weekend:
On Saturday, I woke up at 9, rushed my assignment, spent 11am to 1pm logged on to the computer, reading the papers, had lunch.
The afternoon was spent in a fitful state flitting between the different friendster sites and wondering why I wasn't having a more productive, rewarding weekend.
I had dinner, ate the very powerful instant noodle formula given by alvin, came back to my room and browsed through friendster (again) till 10pm.
On Sunday, I woke up at 9.30 and read the papers.
I wasted brain cells trying to decide if I should start flipping through my piles of notes and unread text books or should i just continue reading the papers online.
Went for lunch.
And here I am. It's now 1.04pm and I'm still in front of my computer screen, writing this blog.
It occurs to me: Have I forgotten how to have fun?
Have I grown fearful of leisure? Am I comfortable only when I'm logged on to the computer?
Have I become what some sociologists term 'leisure illiterate'?
THE only time I really know how to chill is when I go mambo or when im relaxing with alvin.
Being physically away from work, I have no choice but to immerse myself in having fun.
So, if having downtime for myself is beneficial, why can't I recreate this experience on weekends?
There are three interlocking reasons: guilt, jcrc hangover, and greed.
My inability to relax has a bit to do with guilt.
Perhaps a reflection of the Singapore ethic (you can only amount to something if you study/work hard), leisure is seen as a bit of a waste of time.
Between doing hall work and to finish an assignment and going out for drinks, we all know what we should do.
Which is why, come weekends, some of us feel a sense of dislocation.
It's the working (too much) hangover effect - a combination of mental exhaustion from the previous week and leftover adrenalin that seems weird being poured into tasks like getting a manicure. (own nail polish manicure, that is)
But the biggest cause of my wasted weekends is probably greed.
Faced with such a Baskin-Robbins array of activities, I want it all and I want it now. Which is not possible.
But I've decided that I've had it with unfulfilling weekends.
In fact, I've drawn up a plan that will allow me to take a more disciplined approach to leisure (an oxymoron, I know).
Instead of trying to cramp everything, I'll settle for one-theme weekends.
For example, one weekend will be devoted to books (not even magazines), another to exercising, a third to watching nothing but TVs, and so on.
It sounds workable and I will embark on it next weekend.
Right now, it's 1.30pm already and, what do you know, the weekend is almost gone.
I shall shut down the computer, take a shower and have a nap.
But, no, maybe not a nap. There's time to read a few more pages from my econs text if I hurry.
Or should I play with my hamster? Browse through friendster again to add in more friend? Start cleaning my room before all the dust starts accumulating? Or should i just throw aside the plan which ive just formulated and thought workable and start mugging (non-stop) till exams end?
Oh, I give up.
---------------------------
the above was adapted from Sumiko Tan's sunday column from The Straits Times, activites were changed, some thoughts added but all in all, still an ariticle from the favourite columnist - Sumiko Tan. :)
I'M writing this blog at noon on a Sunday.
As usual, the hours are flying past, the weekend is going to be over soon, yet I'm still in my spec and in a quandary over how I'm going to make the best of the day.
I'm really frustrated.
On normal days - that is, weekdays - I'm a fairly organised person. In fact, some might call me task-oriented.
I know exactly what I have to accomplish and I divide my time accordingly.
I love making to-do lists, and enjoy slicing up the hours of a day so that I can allot an activity to each segment. No angst involved. I don't waste time.
On weekends, I fall apart.
There are just so many leisure activities I feel I must catch up on that I end up in a jittery state of limbo, pacing up and down trying to decide on which one to do in a race against time - and succeeding in doing nothing.
And, when I embark on anything, I always wonder if I would have been better off doing something else.
Last weekend was another exercise in futility.
First off, I knew I had to catch up on sleep. How I long for one of those warm afternoon naps during which I fall into such deep slumber it feels as if I were drowning.
But if I wanted to sleep, it would be hard to squeeze time to watch a movie.
And if I did catch a movie, or two, what about the mountain of magazines that has been accumulating by my bed for months, a baleful reminder of my weekend sloth?
(Let's not even talk about books. I've not finished a book since, oh, I shudder to think when.)
But if I were to read, where would I find time to watch TV?
And if my time was spent in front of the small screen, am I being fair to my hamster, in need of some of my time and attention?
And what about the friends I've been neglecting?
Or maybe I should play the dutiful daughter and go back home to visit my mum?
But, no, perhaps I should try the new shops in town.
Then again, should I check out the many sales to bag some bargains? Or catch a performance at the Esplanade?
Go to HMV to stock up on new CDs? Surf the Internet? Go suntec? A hair cut? A shopping trip? Reboot my computer?
And surely this must be the weekend I start exercising again?
But if I were to go swimming in the morning, it would mean getting up early, and did I want to sacrifice my sleep?
And if I were to go for a run in the evening, did I want to miss the Sunday movies on TV?
So here's what I did this weekend:
On Saturday, I woke up at 9, rushed my assignment, spent 11am to 1pm logged on to the computer, reading the papers, had lunch.
The afternoon was spent in a fitful state flitting between the different friendster sites and wondering why I wasn't having a more productive, rewarding weekend.
I had dinner, ate the very powerful instant noodle formula given by alvin, came back to my room and browsed through friendster (again) till 10pm.
On Sunday, I woke up at 9.30 and read the papers.
I wasted brain cells trying to decide if I should start flipping through my piles of notes and unread text books or should i just continue reading the papers online.
Went for lunch.
And here I am. It's now 1.04pm and I'm still in front of my computer screen, writing this blog.
It occurs to me: Have I forgotten how to have fun?
Have I grown fearful of leisure? Am I comfortable only when I'm logged on to the computer?
Have I become what some sociologists term 'leisure illiterate'?
THE only time I really know how to chill is when I go mambo or when im relaxing with alvin.
Being physically away from work, I have no choice but to immerse myself in having fun.
So, if having downtime for myself is beneficial, why can't I recreate this experience on weekends?
There are three interlocking reasons: guilt, jcrc hangover, and greed.
My inability to relax has a bit to do with guilt.
Perhaps a reflection of the Singapore ethic (you can only amount to something if you study/work hard), leisure is seen as a bit of a waste of time.
Between doing hall work and to finish an assignment and going out for drinks, we all know what we should do.
Which is why, come weekends, some of us feel a sense of dislocation.
It's the working (too much) hangover effect - a combination of mental exhaustion from the previous week and leftover adrenalin that seems weird being poured into tasks like getting a manicure. (own nail polish manicure, that is)
But the biggest cause of my wasted weekends is probably greed.
Faced with such a Baskin-Robbins array of activities, I want it all and I want it now. Which is not possible.
But I've decided that I've had it with unfulfilling weekends.
In fact, I've drawn up a plan that will allow me to take a more disciplined approach to leisure (an oxymoron, I know).
Instead of trying to cramp everything, I'll settle for one-theme weekends.
For example, one weekend will be devoted to books (not even magazines), another to exercising, a third to watching nothing but TVs, and so on.
It sounds workable and I will embark on it next weekend.
Right now, it's 1.30pm already and, what do you know, the weekend is almost gone.
I shall shut down the computer, take a shower and have a nap.
But, no, maybe not a nap. There's time to read a few more pages from my econs text if I hurry.
Or should I play with my hamster? Browse through friendster again to add in more friend? Start cleaning my room before all the dust starts accumulating? Or should i just throw aside the plan which ive just formulated and thought workable and start mugging (non-stop) till exams end?
Oh, I give up.
---------------------------
the above was adapted from Sumiko Tan's sunday column from The Straits Times, activites were changed, some thoughts added but all in all, still an ariticle from the favourite columnist - Sumiko Tan. :)
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